Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Anger, scale and Christ

Well, the other night some guy tried to get tough with me.  I don't have a "moderate" switch, I am either "on" or "off".

I took my daughter to a movie last Friday (March 14th).  She is pregnant.  We were leaving and some guy walked into me.  Then he tried walking right up against me and staring me down.  He was bigger than I am, which is saying something because I run 6'2" and 250lbs.  At first I tried to ignore him, but, he wouldn't let up so finally I asked him if he had a problem.  He told me I walked into him, I told him he had walked into me.  He tried being a little tough and I laughed at him, said something like, "do you think you're a tough guy?  I will fuck you up."  He asked if I wanted to go outside, but, he had scared eyes.  A lot of big guys are like that.  They expect people to back down.  I told him, damn right Mother Fucker and turned my back on him.

That is always the most dangerous moment.  Even though the guy had scared eyes when you turn your back they think they have an advantage.  I was listening for that heavy ass foot fall that would tell me he was charging so I could do a shoulder roll (Imagine Will Farrel in Land of the Lost) to the right, but, didn't expect anything and nothing happened.  Besides, my daughter was behind me and would have shouted a warning.

He didn't follow me out the back door.

Now, you would think that since it has been, almost, ten years since the last time I got into a fight and got tossed in jail I would have mellowed out.  Nope, that old violent streak came right back.  I was seriously disappointed.

My daughter asked me what happened, she called me childish and asked why I wanted to hurt the guy.  I explained that it just would have been enjoyable, like eating a candy bar.  You know it's bad for you, but, sometimes you just go ahead and scarf one down.

I didn't raise my daughter the way I was raised so the comparison didn't make sense to her.  To her there is a difference of scale between hurting people and eating a candy bar.  Both are bad, but, one is much worse than the other.  I didn't see her point.

I'm a Christian so any sin makes me a sinner and any sin separates me from Christ.  Christ made himself a weapon and attacked people in the temple.  There is a time and place for kicking ass.  Did I sin?  That's between Christ and I.  You are welcome to judge me, people judge.  To me there is no difference in scale between sins and not everything people think is wrong is a sin.

The Bible tells us not to kill, yet David who killed 10,000's was beloved of God and a man after God's own heart.

Truthfully, we are not wise enough to understand God's word and what a sin is.  Only through the Holy Ghost can people know what is and is not a sin.  But, people judge and they are going to judge and they are going to believe whatever they believe unless they submit their understanding to the Holy Ghost.

Of course, we end up in jail regardless of sin when the system judges me :-)

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